Year: 2019

  • After the rain, earth hardens

    After the rain, earth hardens

    There’s a number of things that I feel I should write down. The last two weeks felt like tall waves crashing onto the shore — natural, even expected, forceful and a little strong. I’ve left my first job in Melbourne to start another journey of self-worth. I’ve ended a relationship of 8 years. I’m relearning…

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  • A hundred million sighs from the sky

    A hundred million sighs from the sky

    I can think and I can think and I still wouldn’t know what to do. I’m not doing a very splendid job of ignoring my problems.

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  • A weekend of firsts

    A weekend of firsts

    I haven’t looked forward to something in such a long time. The ball of anxiety festering at the pit of my stomach had been unfurling the past few days. If someone at work were to ask what I did during the weekend, I can finally say something besides laundry and grocery shopping. I’m easing in,…

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  • Moments of impulse

    Moments of impulse

    Fuck, I can’t remember some bits from last night. That’s my wake-up thought this morning after getting home from a night of drinking. Well, shit. I should scold myself more for my lapses of judgment. I mean, I’m not a college student anymore seeking short-lived highs and thrills. It’s like I’m asking for it because…

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  • A scattering of motivations

    A scattering of motivations

    I think I’ve holed myself up in a corner of disappointment and self-loathing over my writing. I’ve been staring at writing prompts and whenever I do, my brain freezes into a black hole of blankness. I imagine characters with no plots, and I’ve been writing short, bland pieces that’s never interesting enough to comment on.…

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  • to desire everything and nothing at once and to desire it all the time

    to desire everything and nothing at once and to desire it all the time

    I pulled those lines from the poem Want, by Carrie Fountain. To desire everything and nothing at once I’ve managed to work an extra 36 hours in the past two weeks. My spirit is tired. Waking up at seven, leaving the office at five, then back in front of my monitor in my room-turned-office at…

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  • Two weeks in

    Two weeks in

    Every 15th of the month is pay date. I look forward to a few things. Tomorrow is one of those. I’ve managed to accomplish so much design work on the first week after holiday season that I’ve filled the team’s backlog for two or three months. I’ve picked up pace on my writing. So much…

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  • Writing (again), LJ, and (now) DW

    Writing (again), LJ, and (now) DW

    Glossary: 1. LJ – LiveJournal (n.) A popular online community before Tumblr, before Facebook, before Instagram. Or maybe, it was popular only to a some niche groups (namely, individuals who were a fan of something). At sixteen, this was the place to be (online) — the place to make friends, the place to download music,…

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  • C-novels that made me laugh out loud

    C-novels that made me laugh out loud

    I was feeling a bit down towards the end/start of the year so I picked up some Chinese light novels to distract myself (and to absorb some inspiration). This is a really short list and a mix of modern and xianxia. There are some authors like Gu Man who writes hilarious heroines, but I’ve only…

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