“If I die, will that work? If I die, will I be able to get out of this? If I die…whatever I sell, whomever I love, will be spared and be comforted? Then, they won’t be attacked, and won’t be badmouthed? This way, everything I did that became part of my bad image, can I escape from it? Wasn’t I being good all along? If I die, what else would I need to protect?”
— Gu Ae Jeong
I felt so sad watching this part. I don’t relate completely, and I’m far from being noble as Ae Jeong was in the drama…but I have asked these same questions and felt the familiar desperation of wanting to get away from everything. “If I die, will that work? If I die, will I be able to get out of this?” because I didn’t want to hear anything from anyone anymore. I wondered if I disappeared, would they stop finding things to say, twisting words, and believing lies? I wondered if, “this way, everything I did that became part of my bad image, can I escape from it? Wasn’t I being good all along?” because everything I did was misinterpreted and it was a time when everything I did was judged. I just hated it so much. I regretted doing so many things so much, of meeting those people so much, and I just wanted to bury everything and myself to be forgot.
Sometimes, watching The Greatest Love / The Best Love is helping me face the feelings I had from that time — things that pulled me into an even worse depression. In a different way, it makes me long for things that never happened and people that never existed. Mi-Na, as selfish as she was, was lucky she had a friend like Ae Jeong by her side. Ten years later, I’m glad Ae Jeong found Dok Go Jin who, in his way, tried to protect her. I can’t ever forget the part where he sacrificed his image for her. Sometimes a girl just wants a knight in shining armor.