Category: Ponder
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After the rain, earth hardens
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in PonderThere’s a number of things that I feel I should write down. The last two weeks felt like tall waves crashing onto the shore — natural, even expected, forceful and a little strong. I’ve left my first job in Melbourne to start another journey of self-worth. I’ve ended a relationship of 8 years. I’m relearning…
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A hundred million sighs from the sky
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in PonderI can think and I can think and I still wouldn’t know what to do. I’m not doing a very splendid job of ignoring my problems.
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Moments of impulse
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in PonderFuck, I can’t remember some bits from last night. That’s my wake-up thought this morning after getting home from a night of drinking. Well, shit. I should scold myself more for my lapses of judgment. I mean, I’m not a college student anymore seeking short-lived highs and thrills. It’s like I’m asking for it because…
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A scattering of motivations
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in PonderI think I’ve holed myself up in a corner of disappointment and self-loathing over my writing. I’ve been staring at writing prompts and whenever I do, my brain freezes into a black hole of blankness. I imagine characters with no plots, and I’ve been writing short, bland pieces that’s never interesting enough to comment on.…
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to desire everything and nothing at once and to desire it all the time
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in PonderI pulled those lines from the poem Want, by Carrie Fountain. To desire everything and nothing at once I’ve managed to work an extra 36 hours in the past two weeks. My spirit is tired. Waking up at seven, leaving the office at five, then back in front of my monitor in my room-turned-office at…
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Two weeks in
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in PonderEvery 15th of the month is pay date. I look forward to a few things. Tomorrow is one of those. I’ve managed to accomplish so much design work on the first week after holiday season that I’ve filled the team’s backlog for two or three months. I’ve picked up pace on my writing. So much…
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Writing (again), LJ, and (now) DW
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in PonderGlossary: 1. LJ – LiveJournal (n.) A popular online community before Tumblr, before Facebook, before Instagram. Or maybe, it was popular only to a some niche groups (namely, individuals who were a fan of something). At sixteen, this was the place to be (online) — the place to make friends, the place to download music,…
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To meet is the beginning of parting
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in Ponder[逢うは別れの始め] To meet is the beginning of parting. The first time I read this, it felt like the perfect title of a story. It clues me in — prepares me for a bittersweet reality — and somehow I feel the words are beautiful as it does so. I know we will part, and I’m not…
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29 in 2019
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in PonderOne thing remained consistent from the moment I turned 20 until I crossed 29: I never felt truly adult. I am an adult now by virtue of age, but there’s so much I haven’t done that in many ways I feel like I’m still not old enough. I’m quite convinced that it’s either the height…