I miss C in between minutes of the day: in between tasks at work, moments of boredom, moments of sleepiness. He doesn’t reply to my texts often; he’s in Laguna and busy (or tired) from a shoot. It’s alright (I understand), but the waiting and anxiety drags me down to idleness (can’t focus on a single task for a long time). How love and missing doom us. 

I’ve stopped waiting for a “possible client” who I may or may not have scared off (with project pricing). But it’s alright. An old email thread has revived and maybe that’s going to give me new prospects although if it doesn’t work out, I’ll just do my best for the next one.

After an unsuccessful attempt trying to design my blog last night, I decided to deal with the design block by finishing the simple blog header I promised a friend weeks ago. The title of the blog is “A Graceless Heart” and for some reason I thought of swans. I’m not very sure why, for swans seem to be graceful in my imagination (as the “Swan Princess” also comes to mind), but it seemed like it fit anyhow.

I wonder why I can’t settle for a theme for my own site. Since I need to populate my portfolio badly, I’ve decided to make time for some personal projects (i.e. no money — again) to experiment with design, text, and code. Some companies I would still want to design/build for: 

• restaurant 
• bank (web AND mobile UI/UX strategies) — I am so persistent in this
• a literary or artist kind of thing — magazine, blog, whathaveyou
• airline
• telecom (more than what I have had done for a telecom in the past)

I just really want to design for a big enough client not because of money but because they’d probably have the bigger number of users that would be directly affected by anything I design. And really, more than anything, I just want people to use something I’ve made.