I was thinking about this Saturday. How do I feel about it, really? Am I ready? Will I ever be ready? I still feel uncomfortable just thinking about them. But it is merely discomfort now: just recognising the fact that the way I see them (or things) have changed, and I can’t just revert myself […]
I was browsing through someone’s Tumblr when C asked me, “Who’s that?” “I don’t know.” “What?” “I’m just intrigued. I don’t really know her.” And isn’t that what the web was like? Back when I was twelve? You follow a bunch of people you don’t really know, read about their lives, comment and maybe eventually […]
I was sharing with C how I felt very insecure about “not being popular enough” last year, and feeling unappreciated in the more seemingly “designer / artist circles.” That, perhaps, feeling overshadowed by other designers/artists made me feel pretty useless. In comparison, I feel like my own set of skills could be appreciated more in […]
friends fight — and that’s normal. but when friends break each others’ trust, then there’s less of a possibility that their relationship will stay the same. that they’ll still be friends. I was telling C how one of my friends was bugging me to be “friends again” with this person, and how — after I […]
it’s old news that Cantina is closing. had a last drinking night with Dan there tonight, after promising to meet up for dinner over a week ago. ordered too much  food, which seems to be a common affliction now that we’re not college students and everything else seems affordable (Cantina was too expensive in the […]
every time it’s near my birthday, ever since that year, I celebrate the wrongness of inviting each and every one of you: your names forever engraved now, in my memory, together with everything you did that day and the days after.  I hate myself for being the source of this curse, and I hope each […]
the forgotten mixes should stay forgotten, along with the names, faces, and memories from college. 
Always, that knight in shining armour that would defend me like this — whenever I watch things like this, I always wish. That someone should have done that for me, and that nobody did…  I feel like I’m still looking. 
yesterday: proved that it really is C who can quell my anger and intense hatred. i had been feeling so much anger since the night before. the train ride from makati to ortigas seemed to pass within seconds while i was thinking of monsters disguised as people. got to his office and the moment i […]