Tag: secrets secrete

  • weekend

    weekend

    had my first workshop ever, thanks to PWDO. it wasn’t my best, but it doesn’t have to be my last so at least I know what to improve on next time. I don’t really want to share it right now because my slides are so ugly and crammed, but someone asked for it last weekend…

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  • Better, better, better

    Better, better, better

    Tying up some lose ends in work. Stay firm in saying ‘no’ to projects for a while, until I get my shit together. Have a little faith in myself. Relax and enjoy Taipei. My sessions have been very helpful, I’d like to believe. I’m told I will continue to struggle with some things but I…

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  • Creatures of inclination

    Creatures of inclination

    No more freelance work after this. Focus on feeling better. I don’t want any baggage when I go to Taipei at the end of the month. I don’t want to crash and burn anymore, which has been happening lately. Sometimes I believe we’re creatures inclined towards sadness.

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  • Untitled post 3191

    When I know someone said, “it’s been a year, she should be over it,” I feel angry, hurt, and sad at the same time. Getting a doctor was the best thing that I’ve done since everything happened. I can say this more than any of them who don’t feel responsible for anything they’ve done. I’m…

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  • a list

    a list

    it hurts to think of the past. it’s making me question a lot of people who saw what happened and just let it happen. things are going to get harder for me before it becomes better.  

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  • the doc visit

    the doc visit

    first session with the doctor: I feel so weird. Or, I don’t know. It’s just, I have to change my way of thinking a little (accept?) that what happened over a year ago was worse than I thought or perceived it as. It’s like, suddenly apparently you were violated and it feels surreal because you…

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  • “Enable me to see reality as it really is.”

    “Enable me to see reality as it really is.”

    One of my muslim friends shared this:  Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wasallam) said: “Oh Ali, if two people come to ask you to judge between them, do not judge in favour of the first until you hear the word of the second in order that you may know how to judge.” [Ahmad, Abu Daud]…

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  • I feel so sad sometimes

    I feel so sad sometimes

    I was full of regret again last night. I confessed to C that I don’t have anything to feel proud of, to show to the world, and I’m feeling so much pressure to become someone I’m not because I want to prove something. But I’m so far away from it and I don’t have past…

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  • Fear, anxiety, fear

    Fear, anxiety, fear

    Had a chat with a friend after I got home tonight. It’s one of those evenings wherein anxiety creeps up on me and it’s almost impossible to brush it off. 

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