Category: Ponder
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My home and my misery
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in Ponder“When was the last time I was here? The house feels more lived-in now,” one of our friends said, as she walked through the laundry and into our kitchen/living/dining. I can’t remember when she last visited either, but I was just soaking in the compliment. “Dylan hates buying all the unnecessary things, but I like…
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24 in 2024
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in PonderThere’s a prompt on Instagram called “24 in 2024” where people post a photo from when they were twenty-four, which prompted me to go through photos from a decade ago. Much of it had been lost in old phones never backed up but I managed to find a few. Prescriptions 24: taking meds to manage…
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Ode to past endings
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in PonderIn the past I’ve sometimes done a summary of the year that was: 2023: this is my chance to revive this old tradition of reflecting about the past year. This has been at the back of my mind since our holiday trip a few weeks ago, but I’ve been enjoying doing nothing. Technically, too busy…
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Home is where the house is
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in PonderEvery dream has an inspiration, and mine was simply ambition and anger: a fiery desire to stay anywhere but the Philippines and an overwhelming sense of loss and frustration over what the Philippines had become. This was fueled by an inter-generational thread of betrayal by the home country. One of things my mum had said…
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Cursed
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in PonderTwo relationships and I’m cursed with a bad fate of hating one of my partner’s closest friends. Being treated in a similar manner (and then some) like I was treated over ten years ago unfortunately is still unforgivable in my book. There’s some overlap in what they both did: being spurned, shrugged off, ignored, and…
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How we broke up
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in PonderI never actually wrote about how any of my romantic relationships ended, mostly due to the near-decade of trying to get over the friendships that did. Friendship-over’s were more traumatic and romantic endings were less so. Our end happened gradually over time and was more predictable than the immeasurable hurt I’ve ever felt from ex-friends.…
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First win for 2021
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in PonderI’ve been feeling quite down the past few weeks because I’m dancing two steps forward and one step back with eczema. It would seem like my skin is healing…and then it isn’t. I’ve grown very desperate, and so far I’ve tried: Raw honey / manuka honey on my skin Tea tree oil Vitamin D supplements…