“Will you marry me?”
The first time I was asked this question, I thought, ‘How do other people know?’
How do they know they want to spend the rest of their life with one other person? How do they know that out of a billion other people in the world, their partner is “the one?”
As my other friends slowly got engaged, my question continued to go unanswered. The other girls I knew looked so happy and excited and so sure. Why couldn’t I feel the same? How are they so confident? I didn’t even want other people to notice I’ve got something on my left hand. I dreaded the congratulations and hoped no one would say anything. Sharing the news was awkward, and I brushed it off like nothing’s changed.
This time it’s different. I get it now. I know it now.
And I’ve known even before he asked because we both wanted the same future. I knew because he was what I wanted and what I was looking for. I knew, because finally I felt special. Because I admired him, and how hard he worked to get this far. Because I’ve experienced exactly what it meant for someone to always have my back. Because he’s grown to know me even before I found the words to express myself.
Until today, I didn’t understand what it felt to have no doubts about getting married as a finality. We were a happy ending that’s already happened. Finally, I could understand how easy it was to say “yes”. That my “of course, I will marry you” can carry confidence as if to say, “I believe in us, too.”
Plus this time, I love my new ring and can’t fucking wait to say “I do”.