Category: Ponder
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because I just wanted to get to know some strangers
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in PonderI was browsing through someone’s Tumblr when C asked me, “Who’s that?” “I don’t know.” “What?” “I’m just intrigued. I don’t really know her.” And isn’t that what the web was like? Back when I was twelve? You follow a bunch of people you don’t really know, read about their lives, comment and maybe eventually
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on insecurities and growth
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in PonderI was sharing with C how I felt very insecure about “not being popular enough” last year, and feeling unappreciated in the more seemingly “designer / artist circles.” That, perhaps, feeling overshadowed by other designers/artists made me feel pretty useless. In comparison, I feel like my own set of skills could be appreciated more in
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if I don’t trust you, it’s over for us
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in Ponderfriends fight — and that’s normal. but when friends break each others’ trust, then there’s less of a possibility that their relationship will stay the same. that they’ll still be friends. I was telling C how one of my friends was bugging me to be “friends again” with this person, and how — after I
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good day saturday
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in Pondersometimes you have one of the more interesting conversations over nothing. sometimes not even food, not alcohol, not anything but people sitting on the same couch jumping from one topic to the next, just asking “why” or saying “I think” or explaining “this happened because.” and then in the same night you have those personal
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because every new year is just another year of learning to move on
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in PonderYour life has been profoundly shaken by these recent revelations. It’s not your task to immediately forgive those who shook you. Your spoken desire to forgive the woman who betrayed you is in opposition to what you feel. Forgiveness forces an impossible internal face-off between you and a woman you hate. Acceptance asks only that
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How things are lately
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in PonderI’m supposed to update my doctor — C talked to Jopy apparently, and he told me only when I asked him what he was planning to do about…things (his friendship is making me feel betrayed, and my doctor says it’s part of what my expectations are, and rightly so, if he is going to stay
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in PonderWhen I know someone said, “it’s been a year, she should be over it,” I feel angry, hurt, and sad at the same time. Getting a doctor was the best thing that I’ve done since everything happened. I can say this more than any of them who don’t feel responsible for anything they’ve done. I’m
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Reality show
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in PonderThinking about my doctor’s reply to my email. She typed this on her blackberry and I am way impressed. It’s longer than the snippets I’m quoting here. Again, you were all living in a separate world from the rest of Ateneo. It was as if you were in a ‘reality show’ like Survivor where there’s
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Fear, anxiety, fear
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in PonderHad a chat with a friend after I got home tonight. It’s one of those evenings wherein anxiety creeps up on me and it’s almost impossible to brush it off.