Night out with Jaime and C. Interesting conversations over alcohol. And Jaime is so cute. :))
- I’ve always been a bit hesitant to order Tequila Sunrise because of EPIC at Boracay (their drinks are always too strong for me, or not the perfect mix). But I had three at Bahay ni Juan tonight. So. :P
- C’s confidence…is beyond me. :))
- It is always nice to listen to the (ongoing/building-up) love-life of a friend.
- I still stand by my opinion of not dating guys I’m super close / super friends with.
- Learned about this “rubix cube” theory C had when it came to the people in his life, which he shared with Jaime over a year ago. So apparently, he had already predicted something would happen between us even before I even considered that idea. His only question then was whether or not it will work out between us.
(TBH, the reasons for which I started opening up to him was because of big fat Chance. Things like: he was Jopy’s friend and I needed advice; he had experience of being part of the org and again, I needed advice; we worked together on a few projects and that made me feel comfortable going to him and talking to him about some things…which all comes down to — if not for those, well, he probably wouldn’t even be in the list of people I was going to confide with. He was so nice about the things he’d give opinions on, and he’s like that with everyone, and that’s how I knew him. He was just so nice.)
- We had a conversation about taking blame; my weird way of “punishing myself” by completely rejecting people. Ironic how I’m the last person on this planet to give him advice, but I still told him that we affect people only to a point. That whatever blame lies on his hand is a responsibility he holds but only to a point.
I confessed that for all Kitkat did to me and however that affected me, I can only blame her to a point. How she makes me feel or how I let her make me feel is my fault already; I have a really bad complex to get over from (which I pitifully tried to explain to Kasey because I deleted my whole post from my old blog where I tried talking about it). It is the same way with C too, I think, and he should stop blaming himself for things he could never really control.
- This may not go for everyone. But. For all the guilt we’ve accumulated, and hurt we’ve given others — well, all those wrong things remain to be wrong. They will never be right. What’s important is that we learn from all those and strive to be a better person. It’s not going to happen all at once, but acceptance is important. When you accept you’re wrong and ask for forgiveness (from others and yourself), you can start working on becoming a better person. Like I said, it can be hard, but you need to start living out a kind of lifestyle where you’re conscious about your choices. Keep grounded and stay down-to-earth, don’t have excessive pride, and take care of good friends: that’s my personal recipe for a self-conscious way of living. :)