Tag: antilamentation

  • The blank stare

    The blank stare

    Tonight I dropped by C’s house with Gail to look for something. The first person I saw was Jopy. I no longer froze, nor felt my heart race in panic, and neither did I feel like a hunted rabbit. I just stared at him, then past him, before I realized I wasn’t at the brink […]

  • It was never about deserving

    It was never about deserving

    For almost a year now I’ve struggled with the idea of being deserving of some things. Deserving goodness, deserving happiness, deserving love. Being blamed and getting called names by people whom I used to think of as, at the very least, “old friends” was the worst and most painful (and freshest) memory I have of college. […]

  • So tired of feeling tired

    So tired of feeling tired

    I’m tired. It’s already nearing the end of the month, and the last blog post I wrote was last October 8th. It’s not like I’ve been doing anything particularly overwhelming. I’m just perpetually trying to figure out things. Work-wise: Most of the day I’m either coding/designing for projects for the company or its clients, or […]

  • And where the regret takes me

    And where the regret takes me

    Getting involved with a film org in college is the most bitter pill I’ve ever swallowed, the biggest mistake I’ve ever made, and the nastiest regret I’ve ever felt. I never knew, back in sophomore year, that saying “yes” to becoming Creative Deputy would lead me here. Here — regretting all those three years spent […]

  • A type two

    A type two

    I’ve taken the Enneagram quiz before, and I was a Type 2. That haven’t changed. I was reading up on it in another site and amazingly, it summed up my best and worst points: Generous, Demonstrative, People-Pleasing, and Possessive. When I said it summed up both my best and worst points, I can say for […]

  • Reminiscing Singapore

    Reminiscing Singapore

    I just received from the mail a card my friend from Singapore sent over a month ago. Yes, Philippine post sucks but I’m just glad it didn’t get lost. I can’t believe it’s been a year since I arrived in Singapore, met new friends, and had one of the best experiences with so many wonderful […]

  • Post-immersion rambling

    Post-immersion rambling

    The biggest impact immersion had on me wasn’t something I experienced myself, but rather, what my friend experienced (we went to the same area: a farming area in Rosales, Pangasinan). We were doing processing on the third morning and what he said about his “tatay” (adoptive father) struck me. Last Thursday, we were discussing the […]

  • Oh, vanity

    Oh, vanity

    I can’t focus. I’m at Matteo, our university’s study hall, listening to Disney music and looking at fashion blogs. I came to school supposedly to be productive until 12pm, after which I’ll head to Cubao to buy stuff for tomorrow’s shoot. And maybe find a nice pair of shoes for myself along the way. ;D […]

  • “forgotten” doesn’t mean “lost”

    “forgotten” doesn’t mean “lost”

    Thanks to Kasey, I was able to watch this deleted scene from the cut version of the movie Leon the Professional (1994): One thing led to another and I ended up reading the original script. I don’t remember if this was in the movie (the last time I’ve watched it was ages ago), but there’s […]