I just received from the mail a card my friend from Singapore sent over a month ago. Yes, Philippine post sucks but I’m just glad it didn’t get lost.

I can’t believe it’s been a year since I arrived in Singapore, met new friends, and had one of the best experiences with so many wonderful people. It always seems like I just came back months ago. The girl who left the Philippines for Singapore then wasn’t the same as the girl who returned, and that girl certainly isn’t the same girl now. I feel so different that the words my friend wrote in the card made me remember how a lot of things changed for me since then:

The crazy times at Kbox, hearing you talk about your dreams and aspirations, and how your batteries just instantly recharge when you’re around people! It’s really encouraged me seeing how you’d go the extra mile for your friends and how you really treasure them…And your zest for life too!

I miss Singapore. I miss my friends there. I miss IFG. I remember making a lot of jokes or just kidding around. I remember smiling so wide. I remember laughing a lot. I remember looking forward to see everybody. I remember being excited whenever we go out. I remember having so much fun that I just didn’t want the night to end.

I also miss being that person my friend described. I’m not quite the same person anymore. Some priorities have changed. I feel so drained. Going the extra mile…even when I tried to do that, I still got left behind. My enthusiasm in life then, well, I wish I had that back. I’m so lost and confused about so many things in my life right now, over so many people, over almost everything, and every time somebody reminds me that I used to be a much better person I try to believe I haven’t completely lost everything yet. There used to be someone more cheerful, more hopeful, more trusting, more optimistic in me and I want to believe that everything’s still there. That it’s just taking me time to find myself again.

I wish I could hug all the friends I’ve made in Singapore. I swear, I’ll visit you guys again.

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