One of my muslim friends shared this: 

Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wasallam) said: “Oh Ali, if two people come to ask you to judge between them, do not judge in favour of the first until you hear the word of the second in order that you may know how to judge.” [Ahmad, Abu Daud]

Humans are hasty by nature. We are quick to judge. A situation aggravates us and we rush to condemn without bothering to determine all the facts first. In our haste usually only one point of view is considered. This could happen in our households when children get into a fight. This also often happens when we hear things about people. We don’t stay out of things that do not concern us; then we do not bother to hear the other side of the story either. Thirdly, we also get easily influenced with one sided information broadcast at us through the media.

In short, we do exactly what Allah (subhana wa ta’ala) has forbidden, which is to make haste in passing judgment. Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) used to make dua begging Allah, “Enable me to see reality as it really is.”

I have been hurt (so much) by people like those who judge hastily. I am frightened by them, but even more terrified by people who lie very well. I know I’m not the only person being affected by this and I want to feel hopeful for all of us, that we’ll win all our battles in the end. But for now, we try to handle each inner conflict one by one. 

C opened up to me and I realised: we have both experienced the same things, but differently. We have been hurt and trampled by the same woman, was disappointed by friends. But he has something I don’t, I’m not sure what. Maybe how he sees some things in life. Maybe he believes in things (and people) that I don’t. But he’s definitely the stronger person and I can only aspire to be more like him in more ways. I am very stubborn but C is very constant. He is forgiving where I am not; maybe that is where our differences lie. I wonder how he has so much trust in people left. I guess some people are naturally good that way. 

It’s difficult (still is). The past — I am thankful my closest friends reacted the way I expected them to: with disbelief. It would have broken me more if they didn’t. I am thankful they were there always, always, always in loyalty and honesty and love. I value these things very highly in my relationships: responsibility, loyalty, righteousness, honesty, and justice. Even with things being so muddled for me, I am thankful for those people who had these virtues consistently that I could hang on to them when losing faith in everyone else. 

You guys know who you are. Thank you, and I love you.